Dance with Me (non-fiction) - by Anne Shier (a.k.a. "Annie")

Don’t you ever wonder why some people love to dance?  Or, conversely, why some people would rather do anything other than dance?  In my mind, it’s all in how you see dance and what it represents.  I am convinced that dance was invented primarily to get men and women to mingle socially or romantically.  A couple would get to know each other by being physically close to each other on the dance floor, having the opportunity to talk or whisper together, sensing each other’s body movements, and even smelling each other’s body odour.  In this way, they could figure out whether they wanted to get to know each other better.

Do you think I’m kidding about this?  Honestly, I’m not.  I believe that the men and women of the world who bond together the best are the ones whose relationships started out by dancing. I see dancing as a sort of foreplay before sex, a way of getting to know someone you might want to be with sexually.  Since you don’t know anything at all yet about this stranger, you might want to get close to him, if you’re a woman, without getting involved until you know, at least, that you find his closeness stimulating and arousing.  If you like his closeness, you might also find that you want more of it.  And, pretty soon, you’re going out on dates for dinner, to the theatre or just to do more dancing.  Trust me - it doesn’t have nearly as much to do with your love of dance as it does with your curiosity about members of the opposite sex and where your interactions could lead.

That’s what makes it so much fun to get to know other people.  Imagine what it would be like knowing everything a woman needed to know about a man right from the beginning of a relationship.  What fun would it be to spend time with a man you already know everything about?  It should be fun getting to know a person of the opposite sex and that’s why dancing is fun.  You get the closeness that dance provides without the involvement.  And, if dancing with him is fun, you’ll probably want to do more of it with him.  Either you’re going to be a better dancer as a result, or you’ll get to know your partner better, or both, if you’re really lucky.  Or, sometimes, you may just want to dance for dancing’s sake.

One of my favourite DVD movies is called “Shall We Dance?” starring Jennifer Lopez and Richard Gere.  When I first bought the DVD, I thought I would like it for a couple of reasons: 1) the male and female leads in it are among my favourites, and 2) I love dancing and this movie is obviously about dance.  But, it turned out to be about something I wasn’t expecting.  The leading man, John Clark, played by Richard Gere, is a lawyer leading a professional, but mundane life.  He has a loving wife and two beautiful teenaged children and he owns a beautiful home.  To all appearances, he’s leading the “perfect life”.  However, he’s not entirely happy and he’s obviously looking for something that is missing in his “perfect life”; there’s a void in it and he needs to find out what it will take to fill that void.  But, he has no idea what that something is.

Then, one day, John looks up from his seat on the L-train (elevated train) during his daily commute between work and home and sees a young woman, Paulina, played by Jennifer Lopez, standing at the fifth floor window of a place called “Miss Mitzi’s Dance School”.  There is a heart-rending sadness in her facial expression; she looks like a lost soul standing there with her hands resting on the window frame.  Every day, John looks for her face in the window, not really meaning to look for it, but finding himself doing so whenever the train that he’s on passes by the dance school.  He finds himself being strangely drawn to her sad, poignant expression and can’t help wondering why she looks that way.

After seeing Paulina several times just passively standing at the window, one day, he sees her actively teaching people how to dance.  He then, very impulsively, gets off the train and goes into the dance school.  But, he’s very nervous because he has no idea why he’s doing this.  On his way up the stairs to the studio, he meets a female dancer who trains there on a regular basis.  This dancer’s name is Bobbie, played by Lisa Ann Walter.  Pretty soon, John finds himself registering for dance classes on a weekly basis.  Yet, he still doesn’t have any idea why he’s doing it except that Paulina’s facial expression has drawn him there.

After several weeks of dance classes, he finds himself becoming more and more drawn to Paulina, especially when, one week, she is the designated instructor of the evening though it’s usually Miss Mitzi, played by Anita Gillette, and he gets his very first opportunity to dance the waltz with her.  Everyone in the room is mesmerized by their dancing together, sensing a kind of chemistry between them.  Even Paulina, still very much in her own world, also senses the chemistry that is generating between John and her.  At some point, when she finds herself alone with him one day after class, he suggests an outing, a kind of casual date, but she gently discourages him from pursuing her.  Now, John is the one who feels like a lost soul.  He doesn’t know whether he should ever return to dance class again because of what Paulina has just said to him.  The sadness he now feels is written all over his face.

Only when he comes back to dance class after staying away for a while, does he begin to realize how much he really loves to dance.  Paulina also senses that his return is not so much about her this time; it’s about his wish to continue dancing.  In actual fact, it’s a little of both for John.  It’s true that he loves to dance, but it’s also true that he wants to see Paulina again, even if he thinks she doesn’t want to see him.

When he gets a wonderful opportunity to enter a regional dance competition due to Ms. Mitzi entering his name into it, he finds himself in a total conundrum about it.  He wants to dance; he’s become very competent at the Standard dances like the waltz and the quick step, but doesn’t feel very confident in the Latin dances like the “Paso Doble”.  For some unknown reason, he doesn’t want to tell his wife about any of his dancing activities.  Thus, she knows nothing about them or Paulina, at first.  His wife, Beverly, played by Susan Sarandon, out of curiosity and fear, finally hires a private detective to follow her husband because she’s convinced he’s having an affair.

John finally decides that entering the dance competition is what he really wants.  His partner will be Bobbie who is an expert dancer in all the dance styles, but he’s not confident in anything except the Standard dances.  Although they’ve been practicing during class for the competition, Paulina offers to help him build his confidence further by offering to dance with him one evening after dance class is over and everyone has gone home.  If an affair is in the works, this is when it should happen.  However, John has by now decided that having Paulina’s good will is far more important than a fly-by-night liaison with her.  They both respect and like each other by this time, even though there is still this mysterious chemistry between them that neither can deny.

John Clark eventually learns, through his love of dance that, ultimately, he and his wife, Beverly, can share an enriched marital relationship that includes dance, as well as, a whole lot of romance that used to be missing.  As a movie-goer or video owner, one learns to appreciate what dance can do to enhance a relationship between a man and a woman and that’s exactly what it does in this movie.

Obviously, dance is about much more than just the moves themselves.  There are many different ways to dance as a couple.  Ballroom Dancing, which is what “Shall We Dance?” is about, includes dances like the waltz, quick step, tango, mambo and foxtrot.  I personally love the waltz, mambo, and quick step, to name a few, even though I would consider myself anything but an expert – I just love to learn new dances.  I really love the Latin dances in particular because they have such an emotional component – probably due to their romantic origin. 

Another one of my favourite DVD movies is called “Dirty Dancing”, starring Jennifer Grey and Patrick Swayze.  From what I’ve read about Patrick Swayze, he was an expert dancer in his day, which is obvious in the movie.  He plays Johnny Castle, a very sexy looking guy whose primary role is to teach women who stay for the summer at Kellerman’s Mountain Resort how to dance.  But, it isn’t until he meets “Baby” (whose real name is Frances) Houseman, played by Jennifer Grey, that he begins to realize that dance is about much more than just dance.  It’s a very intimate interaction between a man and a woman.  What starts out to be a frustrating and trying set of lessons between Johnny and Baby becomes something very romantic and sensual between them.  After a while, under his talented instruction, she becomes a very competent dancer.  Meanwhile, she was just supposed to fill in for Penny, played by Cynthia Rhodes, whose job as a female dance instructor is to be Johnny’s partner.  But, when a personal medical emergency arises, Penny finds that she suddenly needs someone to replace her temporarily and thus, she cannot fulfill all of her dance partnering obligations with Johnny.

My own experience with dancing has convinced me that dancing is a lot of fun, especially if you happen to meet someone of the opposite sex who is as good as or better than you at dancing.  Then, you can learn a lot more.  In my mid-twenties, I once met a young man called Raymond (pronounced Ramón) who taught me a lot about disco dancing as a couple – something I’d never done before.  I was curious about what was involved.  He taught me many different moves, which I was able and more than willing to learn. 

Raymond took me out to different dance clubs and insisted that we show off what we could do.  This never failed to embarrass me, even though I was able to pull it off with him successfully several times.  I was always deathly afraid that I would land on my a**, since he was so good at throwing me around at different times during our dancing.  But, no matter what my initial reservations about dancing in public with him, he was a truly fantastic dancer and instructor.  The funny thing is, he didn’t teach dance as his job; he just wanted to meet a good dance partner, someone who was a willing student, namely me.  I asked him one day where he’d learned all of his dance moves and he said he learned them all by watching various dance shows on TV.  After a while, he wanted to find a willing female who would be receptive enough to his instructions.  And, I turned out to be that one-in-a-million person who was ready, willing and able to learn from him. 

       Not only was he a fantastic boyfriend to me, he was a truly terrific dancer and instructor.  I will never forget him for that reason.  I just wish that I could have kept dancing with someone like him.  Dancing has been one of the most fun activities I’ve ever done either as a hobby, in dance class, or just as a way to have fun at a night club - not to mention the young men I’ve met as a result of loving to dance.  There is nothing like dance to help you meet and mingle socially and perhaps romantically with the opposite sex.  And, who knows where such a romantic interlude could lead, ultimately?        

copyright 2014, Anne Shier.  All rights reserved.